A quiet Christmas

This year Lydia woke us up excited about what Santa had left her by her stocking, unwrapped. So, we watched her open all her presents with the excitement I once had as a child. Shredding the paper as fast as possible to reveal the prize inside quickly look it over and toss it to the side to see what the next gift with hold. Occasionally, we got a dramatic, "I saw this on TV" or "I always wanted....". I think this is the first year we didn't have Allie to open presents at the same time, so it went rather quickly. Jason and I had previously decided not to buy gifts for each other, due to having no funds at the moment. Of course Jason feels like he still needs to pay me back for the year he got his XBox when we were not exchanging gifts. So, after our enthusiastic emptying of the stocking goodies, he brought me a little gold box with a cream colored bow. I have gotten quite familiar with the Jared gift boxes. In it was a soft cream colored box that when opened, perfectly showcased the white gold, diamond and emerald earrings Jason chose to highlight my eyes. I however stuck to the agreement and didn't not get anything for him. Lydia did pick out a pair of traditional black and yellow symbol Batman pj's for Daddy, which he absolutely loves. It was a good morning.

Etc.

So, Halloween came and went. Lydia was really excited about being Cinderella even though her costume was too small....she made it fit. She's had it since her 4th birthday....and for the last several months she has had a plan. It worked out. I went to about 5 houses with them and took a couple pictures but Daddy did the rest. And they came home with a whole grocery bag full of candy...unfortunately, because now I am eating it!

Mom had a baby shower for me on Sat. It went really well and we had lots of fun. We even made enough to completely cover the cost of both the crib mattresses which we will be picking up this weekend! I'm so excited because that almost completes the nursery. Just have to get their wooden letters, paint them and hang them above their cribs. Fun stuff.

So, yesterday was Election Day and of course I voted. I can't say I am disappointed that Obama won. I think anyone could have seen that coming. Traditionally, I am Republican. But I didn't really LOVE McCain either. I just hope that all this "History" making will be the start of good things to come.

I am soo looking forward to Thanksgiving....it is my favorite holiday after all. Lydia and I spent yesterday (as she was out of school for election day) making paper Turkey's and decorating. It was fun for her after her heartbreaking discovery that school had been "cancelled". "How can they just cancel school on a Tuesday? That's so selfish." she said through her tears. She loves school.

She's very proud of her Turkey's!

Tagged, Crazy Eights

Okay, I'll play along. My Cuz Deana tagged me for this crazy eights thing. Apparently, whom ever reads it should play along too. Why not?

8 tv shows I love to watch:

in no particular order

1-Prison Break

2- Sarah Conner Chronicles

3- Eli Stone

4- Bones

5- 24

6- Lost

7- any baby show on Discovery Health

8- Extreme Makeover Home Edition--cry everytime!

Favorite Places to eat:

this one is difficult

1- PF Changs

2- Olive Garden

3- Applebees (only the one In Nicholasville, the others suck!)

4- Great Steak

5- the little Mexican Place in Nicholasville

6- Bruster's Ice Cream-uh, yum!

7- Cracker Barrel

8- Outback

8 Things I'm looking forward to:

1- Having these babies and being able to finally hold them.

2- Getting the nursery finished.

3- Thanksgiving(my fave holiday...for the food of course!)

4- Losing all this weight.

5- Not having pregnancy nightmares anymore.

6- Taking Lydia to the pumpkin patch.

7- When it stops raining.

8- Dinner

8 Things on my wish list:

1- Lydia wasn't growing so fast.

2- I had more energy and patience.

3- I could sleep comfortably.

4- To not have a c-section.

5- A debt free life.

6- No one had to work and we could all just do what makes us happy.

7- I could afford to go organic all the time.

8- A healthy family.

An ever expanding waist line.

So, I'm feeling a bit like a beached whale most of the time. Getting up off the couch, rolling over in bed...these simple things have become quite the task. But it's all for a good cause.

Many people are asking about names we have picked for the twins. When I tell them they will have to wait until they are born, most of the time I hear either...oh, your one of those or you can tell me, I PROMISE I won't tell anybody. It's not because we are afraid someone will use the names. And even if they did, I wouldn't change my mind. Not even my mother knows the names. Only Lydia, and she actually keeps secrets very well. Not typical for a 5 year old, but she is zipped.

We have been trying to get ready..okay, I have been preparing for their arrivals. Jason calls it "nesting". I do like it so!

Luckily, I am a pack rat and saved just about everything that was in good shape of Lydia's. So, I have lots of little girl things for baby girl. And thanks to my mad skills in yard sale shopping...I have accumulated lots of clothes for baby boy too! I think I am set for the first 3 months at least. The next big thing is going to be the mattresses. Which surprisingly is a big deal. There are so many different one to choose from. How firm or soft it should be and weather or not it should have springs.

Anyway, Lydia is just thrilled more than ever because now she can actually feel and see them moving. And every time she feels them, it's like the 1st time all over again. It's cute.

So, contractions are not the best fun I have had recently. My doctor gave me some meds to stop pre-term labor. Hopefully I won't have to use them anytime soon because they make you jittery and make your heart race. So, if I do need them, he said to keep track of my heart rate to make sure it doesn't go over 128. Uh, Okay!

Ah, the joys of pregnancy...

The Doctors Visit

Monday, I had a regular doc visit. But since I have had wierd shooting pains in my cervix they decided to do a scan. So, when they were checking things out, the ultra sound tech was like, "Hey, do you want to know what baby A's sex is?"..... Uuuhhhh, yeah! But Jason wasn't there so they put the pic with the sex in an envelope for us to open when we were together.

I anxiously awaited Jason's arrival home. Lucky for me he came home early with back pain! Yea for back pain...totally kidding!

So, Lydia was about to pee her pants she was so excited to find out so, we let her open the envelope. I told her in advance G means girl and B means boy. So, when she took out the picture and looked she was like what does J mean?? Apparently, the / threw her off. So, I was thinking she must mean G for girl. So, I looked....It's a BOY!!! I gasped, I wasn't expecting that after hearing J. But how exciting. Jason and Lydia are thrilled. I have had that Boy vibe for the entire pregnancy thus far. Now, Lydia wants the other one to be a girl. We have to wait a couple more weeks for that one.

Baby A (our boy) was pretty well blocking all but the feet of baby B. So, the whole time they she was doing the scan they were both kicking each other. A sign of things to come? Perhaps.

They both have been pretty active. It's so wierd, I'm only 16 weeks but have been feeling them for about a week and a half occasionally. Now, I am feeling them quite often and it's so much fun. My doc said I am measuring 20 weeks! No wonder I am feeling them so soon!

Lydia's Big Day(s)!

PARENT TEACHER NIGHT

On Monday we took Lydia to school to meet her teacher, tour the classroom and check out the bus. She was beyond EXCITED about it. She loved everything about her classroom. Even the door where all the kids names where on little frogs and it thrilled her to find it was still there when we left. She loved her teacher (I almost cried) and even met a friend that has played on her soccer team this past season. Yay! someone she already knows will be in the same class and on the same bus. By the time we got where the buses were picking up everyone for a 10 minute ride, they were holding hands and jumping around with glee. It was really cute. So, finally her bus comes back and they anxiously wait for everyone to unload. They went to the very back of the bus and eagerly put their seatbelts on. ( I didn't know the buses had seat belts, but I love it) Lydia could hardly contain herself and she was like bursting at the seams with little happy screams waiting for the bus to move. When the bus did start going the breeze from the open windows came in and blew her hair around. At this point, she must have been reminded of our recent vacation and all the roller coasters because she threw those little arms up in the air as if she were riding a one. It was hilarious and I absolutely loved seeing her so happy.

THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL

The night before school (wed.) Lydia and I picked out her clothes for the next day and put them in her new school clothes organizer with each day of the week. She was very happy that it had finally arrived. It was 7:57 and she was tucked in ready for sleep. An hour later she was still awake from anticipation of the next morning. Finally, she was out. Normally her bus is supposed to come around 7:20 but for the first day Mommy was going to take her. At 7:10 she came running into my bedroom saying, get up my bus is here. Lydia is a very sound sleeper but for some reason I guess she heard the bus. Anyway, we got all ready and we left for school. She looked so cute with her little apple ponytails and backpack. I had already decided to keep my composure and not cry. I had butterflies the whole walk to her classroom. We found her cubby for her backpack and then her seat that had her name with a cute little butterfly. That made her happy. The teacher had playdough for each child to play with as the kids came in. She again, loved it. She had no problem whatsoever getting completely comfortable. No tears, no mommy stay with me...nothing. Just see you later. So, I hesitantly left. She was happy. I did not cry but I wanted to. I went home and basically twiddled my thumbs until 11:35. Her bus was supposed to drop her off at about 12 but I coudn't wait, so I went outside and watched for her. Then I felt silly for being outside so I started cleaning out the car. I wanted to be out there when the bus pulled up to the house. When I saw that bus, I wanted to jump with glee. But I refrained. She had a great day. I think it will just take a little time for me to get adjusted.

quick update

So, things are good, some ruff, but still good.

Lydia is starting school in 4.5 days! Agh, I'm so not ready for my baby to be away from me. The other day by Mom had Lydia and my niece sleepover and go to my grandmothers house the next day. I couldn't sleep all night. I was so lonely the next day. I needed my baby back. And happily, she needed me back too. :) It was a joyous reunion.

So, I've got this thing called Placenta Previa...I know, more medical stuff. You probably don't want to know, but I'm bored and here it is.
It's where the babies placentas are very close to or partially covering the cervix. I know, awesome! So, it is a complication but usually tends to correct itself over time-hopefully-as the uterus grows. So, things that can happen would be bleeding, abruption, detachment...all not good things and somewhat scary. i have had a bit of bleeding a couple times but now am on restrictions. Oh, goody. So, I can't really do anything but take it easy and see what happens.

The twins however are doing really well with every ultrasound. Good heartbeats and growing normally. Baby A is a little jumping jelly bean, always moving around and Baby B is always mellow, usually has the little hand at the mouth, chillin'. I figure total opposite personalities. We shall see.

This & That

She can't ever seem to keep her eyes open for the pictures.

Cheesy is fun. We cut our hair really short but you can't see it in the picture.

So, things are good. Crazy at times, but good. I am still taking care of kids but I don't know how much longer that will last considering the twins thing. Oh, don't know if I have written that yet...twins...due Feb. 11th. Actually, one is due the next day but full term for twins is actually 37 weeks. So, we are hoping they will wait until atleast January. Anyway, so I am sure bed rest is somewhere in my near future and at that time it will be a bit harder to have 6 kids running around all the time. We'll see what happens. Time to start saving.

So, my weight loss goals have been put on definate hold. But at least I lost 46 pounds before I got preggo. I have actually already grown about 3 inches on my waist but no weight gain as of yet. In fact, I lost a few pounds. But the doc said that was fine in the first couple months. I was a bit concerned with the 3 inches because I am only just 9 weeks now but I am being warned early on of the enormous belly that is to come. Scary. Bring on the Cocoa Butter!

Well, I will go for now. I need to get ready for church.

Ah, to be home again!!!

So, vacation was anything but! Talk about a headache and a stressful good time. Overall, we did have fun. I was exhausted most of the time but I loved seeing Lydia all excited about stuff.

We left and went to my little brothers wedding in ALA. which was very nice. Then we stayed around and visited with family which is always good because we don't see each other nearly enough. Then on Monday we left for our big adventurous Florida vacation that came to a screeching hault about 90 mins down the road. Literally, our van broke down. And we had only had it for about 2.5 weeks!!! So, drama and stress overtook my body. Luckily, the van was still under warranty from the dealership (used van)-(i will never buy another used car...ever!) So they had it towed and got us a rental car because of the extensive work that had to be done. Which by the way, they had to drive an hour to get a car big enough for us and the luggage...it was a one horse town. Anyway so after about the entire day, we got back on the road.

We spent one day at Magic Kingdom, Sea World (my favorite), and Busch Gardens(nothing but coasters.), and ofcourse the beach. Lydia loved meeting all the Princesses and she LOVED the coasters! And she is at the height that she could ride all but the really huge ones..mostly the one that went upside down...although there was even one of those she rode twice!

So, we headed back toward the van in ALA on Sunday. It still wasn't fixed. So, we hung with the fam a few more days and Finally we were able to head back home.

Oh, I forgot to mention that on Sun. before we left for Fla. I found out that I am pregnant! So, super emotional, super stressed, super tired. I am due on Feb. 8th. but I am very high risk so, I am on hormone suppliments and things. Hopefully, everything will work out but I am trying to keep perspective.

I'm just really happy to be back in my bed!

May is a much better month.

So, this month has proven to be much better and more exciting than the recent months. I switched doctors, and let me just say, HUGE difference. And he's not even the specialist, he just cares way more.

So, I have been on my 3rd round of Clomid this month and I am happy to say that it is finally working!!!! Last Monday (19th) my new doc wanted to go follicle hunting. So, I went in for an ultra sound. They found one egg on each ovary. And then that night I had a positive ovulation test, so that is like huge improvement. Now I am on the Progesterone that I need and I am just praying that next week I will get a big fat smiley face on my preg. test. So, cross your fingers for me. But even if I don't, at least the fertility is working and I can keep on it.

So, we are getting ready to head off into the sunset for our annual vacation. This year we decided to take the kids to Disney World, Sea World and Busch Gardens(it will be my first time too). Of course while in Florida we must go to the beach as well. So, we will be gone for little over a week this time. The only thing I'm not excited about is the gas!

Jason and I just celebrated our 6th anniversary. Funny thing is, I've been so consumed with getting prego and finishing the house before we leave...I forgot. But Jason forgot until the day before when his phone alarm reminded him. Eh, it happens.

Well, my weight loss is definitely slowed way down. But as of today my total is 42 lbs. I keep having to get new clothes because when I gained all my weight, I was pregnant with Lydia (5YEARS AGO!) and so all the in between sizes were maternity. It's kind of nice though being able to find things so easily, I haven't been this size in a long time!

Not so good news for me..

So, I have been on the Clomid medication to try to help me get prego. It's been two months now. I just found out that even though my cycles are now regular and it seems as though I am ovulating, my progesterone is only a 1. It's supposed to be a 10. So, this would mean that even if by some miracle I did get preg., I probably wouldn't be able to carry it because of my low almost non-existing progesterone.

Here's what I think the problem is...my doctor doesn't know what she is doing. I say this because she basically in so many words told me. I have been trying to do some research and everything I am reading tells me that progesterone is an easy fix. I just need to figure out what I can take to raise my levels. My doctor, who is soon to be my ex-doctor said that she will only give me 150mg of clomid because that's all she was comfortable with and then she would refer me to a specialist. Basically she is going by "protocol"-her word-and her level of comfort stops there.

I am so frustrated because I feel like I have been lead around by a blind woman. If my prog. only went up .25 from an extra 50mg this month, 50 more isn't going to get me to a 10.
So, I am going to see a doctor that specializes in this stuff. Hopefully they can give me a little more expert direction than just protocol.

Jason and I were talking, if we have to, I will do injections, we would do invetro.

I just never even though about having problems in this area due to having Lydia so quickly and easily. I know I am really lucky to have her, but I honestly don't feel like I am done. I really feel like there is more up there waiting.

It's been a while.

Tonight was a hair cutting one. For Lydia that is, she wanted her hair short...so, I cut it. Here's a pic. Yes, I know it's not that short but for Lydia it is. My baby is growing up.

So, here's a quick update. I know it has been a long time since I got on here.

Anyway, Lydia just turned 5! on March 21st. Hence the picture on top with the Harry Potter Cake!

She is all signed up to start kindergarten on the fall. That should be interesting. I finally got her on a good sleeping schedule. Lights out at 9pm, she gets up about 8 or 9am. When it gets closer to school she will be heading to bed at 8pm..that's gonna suck.

As for me, I am on the clomid for the second month. Last month it didn't make me ovulate so we're hoping this month will be different.

My weight loss goals are continuing to be a happy subject. I have a total loss of 37 pounds to date and counting. That's almost as much as Lydia weighs. Scary thought. And I still have so far to go! But I will get there.

Everything is going well. My parents have decided to sell thier house and move to Arizona...don't really know what to say about that. It's bitter sweet I guess. But I think it will be a good thing for them. That will give us an excuse to go see the Grand Canyon for vacation next year!

This year we will be embarking on a Disney adventure. Disney World is the destination for the family fun bonding time. That should be a long drive, but hopefully one that will be worth taking!

And so on...

Well, it's been a couple weeks since we were able to meet with the group. And while I felt that I should have been able to lose more than I did...most of the group actually gained...eek. So, I guess I don't feel as bad. But in the past two weeks I have lost about 4.5 pounds. I think everyone realized that it is really important to have the meetings every week. Because without them, the only person we have to be accountable to, is ourselves...and if that worked, we would have been skinny a long time ago! So, the moral here is find a few buddies and KEEP them near...be accountable to someone striving for the same things and it helps so much.


A TIP: find more than one person to set goals with. That way if one person slacks off, you still have the other person(s) to keep you going.

Losing pounds and feeling good!


BTW, I measured my inches yesterday. Since Jan. 19th, I have lost a total of 17 inches of fat! Yay for Me! Think about it...in less than 6 weeks, 17 inches has just melted away. I never thought I could do that, but I have. I don't want to toot my own horn BUT...TOOT! TOOT!

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

K- yesterday was Wed. so that meant recording the weight for another week. This week we have been sick and I didn't exercise. But fortunately, we didn't eat very much either, so I lost 3 pounds.
I am hoping my body doesn't go on strike for the under-nourishment and hold on to the fat for dear life this week.

But at least we are seeing the clouds part from within the sea of sickness that has consumed us for the last week. I would just like my energy back already!

I will have to take an updated picture soon to compare.

This & That

So, Jason and I have had the flu...yuck! Some how Lydia has managed not to get it. I have a very full week coming up so I am hoping that it subsides by tomorrow.

So, last Wed. I had my doctor's appt. and it went pretty well. The doc was pleased with my weight loss and prescribed me some Clomid as planned. So, next month I will start it after Aunt Flo visits. Apparently, you only take it for about 4 days on very specific days. Then a follow-up blood work on the 21st day to check for ovulation. So, I still have a few weeks to lose a few more pounds. I just hope that my emotions don't sky rocket for those four days.

Speaking of pounds, I made my goal last week losing 3 more pounds. That's a total of 21 so far....I am very interested to see what the scale will say this Wed. after not working out from being sick.

This month I would like to reach another 10 pound loss. We'll see how it goes.

Overall, I am really happy with the results.

Another Week on the SCALE

Okay so we had another weigh in and the results...4 pounds!!!! Woo-Hoo!! Totally excited and feeling good. My goal this week is 3 more pounds because I have my doctors appt. on Wed. I need to get down as much as I can before then. That puts my overall total since November to 18 pounds lost. I need to hit that 20 mark!

Lydia's Social Anxiety

So, here's the thing. Lydia is a total ham when she is in the comfort of family. But in reality she has major social anxiety. I have know this for quite some time now. It affects her anywhere outside of the home. Even at church where she is around the same kids and adults every week.

It really hit me hard yesterday when about 10 kids and their moms came to the house. She has always been great at home when people come over. Sometimes when someone she doesn't know comes into the house she is shy at first but then when she gets warmed up she's fine. But yesterday, I could tell she was under stress about what all the kids were doing, getting into things, even the adults sitting on the piano bench seemed to bother her. She had to be right by me the whole time. She had little to no interest in the kids that were here. I mean, this is what I do, I watch kids in my house! You would think she would be used to it.

So, after thinking long and hard about it, I feel like I need to get her into some extra curricular activities. And possibly some play dates outside of the house. I am hoping that some social interaction out of her comfort zone will help open her up and let her know that it is okay to be out and around big groups of people without having anxiety over it. I fear that she will start school in the fall and hate it for that reason. So, now the question is DO I get her involved with something outside of the house and if so, what? Ballet? Soccer? She will be 5 in March. Any suggestions would be awesome.

Weekly Weigh In

Well, We had another weigh in today. I am down 2 more pounds. I really wanted to lose more but at least I didn't gain right. So, my goal is 2-3 lbs. a week. This week I worked out 5 times. Did really well on the water intake but still have some work to do to get up to the needed 8 - 8ounces of water a day goal. This week in addition to the water we are doing an increase in fiber. My exercise goal is to workout 6 days of cardio and 5 days of muscle toning. I feel much better since I have been eating 4-5 times a day, little meals and snacks. It seems to have cut down my want for the huge dinner at night by half! Here's to a successful week!

Alright, those of you who really know me, know that I have always struggled with my weight. So, here's the thing...

I just turned 30, that's a number I am struggling with. So, this year is going to be the defining year for me. The year I finally realize, that sitting on my butt worrying and complaining about the extra fat I carry around, isn't going to do anything but make me fatter and more depressed.

So, I decided to stop the vicious cycle, get up and start moving. I have reached that point in my life where getting healthy, losing weight, and feeling good is crucial. At this point, so many things in my life depend on it. Being happy about who I am not only in the mirror but having the confidence in myself that soo long ago disappeared. Not becoming a diabetic. Controlling my Polycystic Ovary Syndrome and ultimately being able to have more children. Not to mention being able to RUN and play with Lydia without feeling like I am going to die with in the first 30 seconds.

So, that being said, my husband and I recently purchased a heavy piece of workout equipment that we have actually been using. Although I refuse to "diet", I am being more mindful about what I put in my mouth and how much of it I stuff in there. The motivating moment for me was watching a marathon of the Biggest Loser a couple weeks ago. It sounds stupid, go ahead and laugh but I proceeded to go out and purchase a Biggest Loser scale and started tracking my weight.

Here it is, in one determined week I have lost 4.5 pounds. I shocked myself. But the proof is in the jeans people. It was like the begining of the rest of my life. A new me will eventually reveal itself out from under the suffocating fat rolls that now overcome my body. Disgusting, I know. But the truth isn't pretty.

And with this comes the accountability. Along with another awesome fat sufferer from my ward, I have formed a group of people that will meet every Wednesday and weigh in together. A support group if you will. Like fighting the fat together will totally make us stronger to hang in there. I know this all sounds cheesey but who the crap cares.

If anyone is interested in my personal progress I will be posting weekly pictures and weight lost. I need all the encouragment I can get.

And that's my life in a nutshell.